As the year is nearing its end I thought it would be appropriate to go over my resolutions for the year and see what I did and didn’t do. If you are interested in my original post, where I listed all those resolutions, you can check it out here! I’ll also be writing about how 2019 was for me in general, nothing too much as some of the things are rater personal
(you will see what I mean by that).
Lets get into my resolutions of 2019!
As you can see the first one is to post 2 times per week. Yeah, I didn’t achieve this one completely. There were months were I did post 2 times each week, there were months were I posted more than that. But there were also months that I didn’t post at all during some weeks, due to my mental health. I’m especially pleased by my blogging in the past two/three months, I feel like I have gotten into a good rhythm. The second one was to interact with more people. I’m pleased to say that I did achieve this one! 😀
I wanted to read at least 52 books and I definitely managed to do that. I have read 94 books, so I shot way over that goal. I’m very pleased with how much I managed to read in 2019. I also wanted to complete and catch up to series. This is also something that I managed to do! I don’t have an exact number, but I did focus on reading my series this year
(which was the goal all along).
Yeah, these two didn’t happen at all. I actually didn’t do any creative writing during 2019. I did write essays and papers for university but that was it. The reason for that is mostly due to the things I’ll write about when I get to the part where I write about how my 2019 was. Basically I didn’t feel motivated to do these two goals and I didn’t have the mental capacity for them. I’m a bit disappointed, but also not really?
Yes to both of these! I did achieve both and I’m very happy about that. There really is nothing more to say about this one. I’m very pleased by how many art related things I did this year.
I did finish university, which I’m very proud of! I also decided to do a Master degree, so I started that this year as well. Because of that I didn’t get a full time job, as I just wouldn’t have the time to do everything. I have a lot of anxiety related to job hunting
(which I didn’t know before this year), but I have started looking for a part time job and I’m proud of myself for that. Yes, I have gotten fitter and healthier. I have never felt more comfortable in my body than I do in this moment. I did also explore more of Vienna, which makes me very happy. 😀
There you have it, those were my resolutions for the year! Some of them were successful, some not, but overall I’m proud of how I did!
Now let’s talk about 2019 as a whole and why this most is called My Year of Growth!
To preface this I need to go back to 2018 for a bit. 2018 was the worst year of my life. Many things happened and my mental health was at an all time low. When December came I felt like I did nothing during the whole year, even though that wasn’t the case. I felt like such a huge failure and disappointment. I struggled so much during that year.
2019 was a tough year for me. The first few months were good, the middle of the year bad and the end
(from around October) was good. I still struggled with my mental health (and the other problems that I had), but I found ways to cope and make myself feel better. Bullet journaling and writing a diary helped me with that. Having an outlet like that was exactly what I needed. I might do a whole post about my bullet journal and diary in the future, how I use them and how exactly it helped me (this post is already long enough).
2019 was a year of self reflection and acceptance for me. Some things that I learned during this year:
- To not expect myself to be perfect. Or rather whatever was defined as perfect in my head. This is the biggest one, as I was in a vicious cycle because of those expectations.
(I’ll leave it at that, as I don’t feel comfortable in sharing more details about that.)
- To be kinder to myself. I have always disliked myself, both my personality and appearance. I never really felt great about myself as a person. During this year I tried, and succeeded at being kinder to myself.
- To accept my flaws, but also my strengths. This one goes along with the two previously mentioned.
- To accept that my mental health problems are a part of me and that they don’t make me weak. As I already mentioned, 2018 was such a bad year for me in regards to my mental health, so this was quite the huge development.
Because of all of that I’m calling 2019 my Year of Growth. Looking back at this time last year I’m beyond pleased by where I am now. Not everything is amazing, I still struggle and have problems, but I’m not feeling hopeless anymore. While 2019 was a hard year at times, it was also a good one.
Another thing that I need to mention in this post, and also to end it on a positive note, this is also the year that I have gotten into BTS. I found them at the perfect time and they have improved my life in so many different ways! ❤ I might do a post about that in the future, but who knows as it’s all very personal. I just couldn’t not mention them, as they have been a huge past of my life for months
(since the end of July to be precise).
I’m so thankful to my family and friends for supporting me through this whole year, even if they didn’t know all the nitty gritty details
(as I don’t like to bother anyone with my problems). I love them all so much! ❤
Thank you all as well, for supporting me and my blog! ❤